world of lies!

well its been hardly few days since i recovered partially from ta "im goin to die " syndrome!!
now why am i so sad? why do you all think my blog deserves only sad posts???
no i aint at all lying to be overly sad.. it so happens that everything in my life currently is so upsetting tat i feel atleast it might help someone on earth next time they get into relationships....
you know wats the worst feelings on earth?

• doubting wer your most emotional an passionate relationship wit your guy is goin!
• doubting if you are so dam ugly,rude,and incompatible to your guy....
• doubting if your worth it to live like this forever....
• doubting worst still if your guys moved on without telling you....

now how do i handle this? i seriously dont know... none of my best buddies will belive me if i say im into soo much stress and struggle in this relationship... cause

• one they know how true im into this whole thing an how it means to me.
• two they are friends with my guy so they feel he sint tat type who can be wrong.......

now why do they get tat second feeling??

• this is so bloody like the hillary song "stranger" it may seem so funny an non understandive to evryone but i know behind that sweet guy of mine they is a real rude bad horrendoussly crazy side i simple cant understand.....!
• its so simple to laugh off an say this is how all girlfriends are.. im here facing this day in and day out... and i seriuosly have noone to help as noone will ever know many things...im into so much stresss. my guy is acting sooo insensitive to me an i cant fathom how he simply chooses to intellegently attraact others into his "im a sweet guy" category!

challenges i face currently

• lost out on self confidence
• lossing out on love! its fading
• totally stressed out
• cant face this rudeness anymore
• i have noone to help me
• noone belives me wen i go like "my guy is so totaaly rude i don want him"
• im not allowed to be given freedom...... he wont breakup wit me for god knows wat fucking reason! he should either act like how a matured guy acts in a relationship and treat me well or give me the freedom to part ways!
• i feel trapped ppl... what must i do? i don know wether i want this... i don know if hes into some serious psychological problem...i don know if he will come bak wen i finally plan to move on ! i cant move forward.....

what must i do??

• i have written a thousand mails to him explaining what i need out of life an this relationship....
• i have personally talked this out so many times with him. he goes like ok ok you will see a change in me.... but all the change i ever see is his increasing insensitivity!
• can you help me deal with this?? i feel so entangled in this
• truth is im totally not happy at all. these feelings trap so much of my gud times tat im unable to rejjoice life wit my frnds !!
• can someone who secretly reads my blogs frm my so called class without even having the boldness to accept it an comment on my posts pls help me??
• i see a world of lies in him! i saw his genuine heart once upon a time....... now its totally screwd up an mixed wit dark evil sinister portions!

y am i appealing to you ppl of all?

• one if you ppl dont really enjoy happy ppl in relationships do let me know! atleast i will know prob is wit you n u need to be dealt wit firstly then him!
• two majority of his fucking process is suddenly only goverend by you friends! he isnt using his brains wen im sad an crying alone! he rather sits an spends time with you saying "avo ipidithaan seri aidiva freeya vidu" "nambo padam pakalam da"
• someone pls get the old him bak to me! it can b kaml,it can be gv or chandru or anyone close tohim!

thats all.......if u ppl don even want to try .. forget it! i realise you r such jerks to call yourselves his goodd friends! an mayb someday he will realsie your unworthiness!