COME BACK MY LOVE!

where are you?
The true YOU i saw an felt days back....
is it u i fell for really?
i don knowwww....


is it just another illusion ?
tell me pls your doing this for fun....
cant take it anymore

will this last furthermore?
are we still together....
or is there someother?

why have you changed so much?
i dont feel your touch anymore....
i dont see the mushyness
i dont see your smile...
i only feel your rudeness
i only see your anger
i only sence ur frown.....


is there a way to get u bak?
or have i lost track?

i gave u everything i had...
shared your sorrows caused i cared...
i loved you honey...
no this aint funny..
i realised my luv when you started backin out...
don know whats happening....
just want those hugs back forever,,,,,

i cant concentrate,
cant imagine you leaving me....
for -you made me step into ur world 365 days bak
and without that world lacking
that smell,those hands, that presence
i will have no conscience...


come bak darlin boi... forgive me if i was wrong
love u too much!

I nEed To Move On!!

che im soo angry with my pathetic self..... well me an my guy fought as usual on my birthday an yes somehow made our way into making it up! so here we r supoosedly together.... what sucks is i have a totally diffrent way of perception frm him abt luv an relationships... according to himmmmmm

1. boyfriends are almost like best friends!

counter 1>> well they arent to tell you the truth. maybe two souls got around feel all mushy an stuff while being gud buddies. but the very second one feels this love, it changes the whole dimension of things... u cant be tat friend u wer b4... u change he changes frm tat very second... its not ok anymore to hang up the phone suddenly... its not ok anymore to talk abt other girls.... its not ok anymore if ppl just say a hi bye once a day. life isnt like those nice clinches we hear across by world beauties,,,, its rather a tough battle ! wat gets me on is tat these same fellows who when initially started liking us

1. would call every second [ never utttering anything abt balance issues]
2. would send a thousand feel gud smses hand written by them big ones at that
3. would send cheesy lines like" a mastermind is waiting to talk to you on phone tonight"
4. would even end up speaking with u frm 12 at night till 4 in morning...[their mums don bother them during those times at all]
   
5. would not hurt u at all....would keep those lill hand made cards we used to make for them or even chits we passed out in class...
   
6. would find us cute.... an would spend hours staring at us in class...
7. would come online for yoursake always
8. wouldnt utter a word abt being busy with friends.... its a make believe world werein its like they r only giving promionence to u.....
   
9. would do anything in the world just for us to utter out an yes to themmm!!

now here comes the next phase,,,, here u r suddenly having said a yes to a gud who until moments ago was ur best friend. relationship saga goes this way...

1. oooh noo... no balance left no calls.. r atleast u r gonna spend for calls from now.
2. well a cheap bloody one liner u get wen an ass of ur boyfriend has 500 free smses per day... reason he is busy with his mates!! bye bye long smes,.,, until ofcourse its some mood lifting topic of his!!
3. haha.... nowadays its only me who initialise ta smses first or even call him first... ta master mind is missing maybe runaway to the forbidden forest i guess!
   
4. woohoo night talks huh? i tell u frm experience ur guy suddely luves his frnds so much more tat he would have consumed all his time chatting every second with them wen at home tat wen i call his mommy will start scolding him to put ta phone down.,well ttats either a sign tat says hes not wanting to waste his bachelorette of a night with me of all ppl..... or well huh its just n inroduction of how teriifying rude my to be mom in law can be later!!
   

5.welll here is another,,, wen we fell in love initially r even b4 tat i tell u we used to even collect ta water packets we shared togetehr,,, now well i see tat card i made in my sound tech class sitting in first bench for our aniversary with such difficulty given back to me ta very sec i gav it telliin his mom will kill him if found out... an later another day fallen on the floor of our class....!!

6. well i guess this is ta stage u cum to knw ur guy finds even your frnds much cuter... there r days we use dto share lunch together in canteen an well he is consatly observing women frm all sides!! maybe he verbally tells im amazing but still him staring at thin sluty girls humiliates me!

7. i tell you we used to always be online b4 an chat like hell now its all gonee its been like sooo many months since i even enjoyed sending audibles to him online!! he is onlinee always only wen i aint... dunno y it always happens tat way... example now too im waiting endlessly for 3 hours an he is not available! he is busy with frnds i guess!

8. well frnds have becum his whole new world to him.... those characters who wernt talked abt with importance b4 have becum tat kind of buddies who he will even die for! its years since i havent heard tat "your call is waiting pls try aging later line from his cell wen i call..... he is always on phone with them.. always goin for treats an movie. pathetic tat we havent even seriously gone out for even one walk lest a date initiated by him!

9. well maybe in some ways he tries being nice... sometimes he dosent realise im sitting out der giving up on alll my frnd frnd chat with other buddies waiting for him an he finds his frnd who is jus a street away who can always be met anytime moreimportant.........
well ta day i started this blog i was really pissed with this sea change..... an wanted to advice ppl who r best frnds an having crush on other to not confess love too soon......... u will eventually miss tat idiot who used to play tic tac toe with you or even miss teasing him with a hundred girls jus to make him blush...... ppl change an evovle into diffrent species wit time...! i can never get bak those days.... an i want ppl to enjoy tat phase for a longer period than jumpin into decsions!! yes love is a sweet feeling i have always felt nice sometimes but well i guess both of us r too immature to undersatnd each other an forgive each other at this age...... time will make us evolve into a sweet happy couple i say!!

i miss u naaavaana!

hey bro,
im missing u terribly todayyyy its beeen almost 3 years since u left home to do ur higher studies... yes i am really proud an happy for you but its like this void in me at home... i dont have anyone here who will get me bubble gums aftr shopping lik eyou did... i dont have those anyone who will spend there megre pocket money just to get me birthday gift...i dont have anyone to fight with... r play with r kid around with r well spill tat sauce bottle with... it seems like everythings changed all of a sudden...i dont have any scope of listening to ur neverending out of tune heavy metal songs...i dont have anyone to share vadams with r cook up an experiment sum hot dish in ta kitchen each evening... i dont have anyone anymore who bugs me with "do u know this" kinda questions...i dont have anyone with whom i can share my collage stories with....most furstrating part is i dont enjoy going ouut as much with parents especially to restuarants wer we both used to decide ta order 4 ta day even b4 we ask permission frm dad to take us out...i dont have anyone to tickle me unbearable in ta middle of the night...i dont have anyone to chat abt gizmos an technology with...skool days used to rock.. frm those everlasting memories to silly memories wer i used to always end up wearing ur socks in a hurry each morning... r much better fight for the last drop of polish mixed with diluted water lol...i dont have anyone who will pull my plait r my tied up hair an get my scoldings 4 tat..i dont hav anyone who calls me obese unhealthy child...i miss those intellectual convos within us.... i miss those times wen we shared tat bunk bed an wer u used to scare ta shit outta me telling all kinds of horror stuff...i miss eating tat beautiful conction of urs ta bread crumb dosa... i dunno if u even remmebr tat...
life suddenly seems all changed an boaring.... yes you do call us up an talk to me ta mostttt every week frm korea... but well tat closeness we shared is kinda gone... is this wat happens wen ppl grow up anna? an i misss shouting out naaavaaannaaa evry minute.... all i see is few pics u upload once a while... u seem so different each time...this whole idea of growing up feeels so rude... i want my bro bak who used to hold my hand each timed we crossed ta road... i want ta bro who used to buy bubble 4 me each time he went out.. i want the bro who used to shuwer me with gifts each time he went outta station without me....i wanta get all childishh an get bak to being ta minime...an loving ta love u showed me......
i cant wait to see youu within a year....it feels lik there is so much to share... so much to laught abt wit you.... make time an come here anna... i promise, u will get 2 dhabbas of vadamm each day 4 lunch on ur stay here......lol..
luv u tooo muchhhhh
ur lill pesty sisss

ta tHIN line between LUV an HATE...........

wantd to always write a post lik dis...........
bout ta


20 THINGS I HATE ABOUT LOVE
1.its makes u blind!
2.u lose ur mind
3. ur left wit only pain
4. ur confidence levels goes down ta drain once everythin is over
5.U tend to FoRGET your best buddies wen u r in ta peak of luv!
6. ta he r ta she is 10,000% not gonna b wit u forever
7.its suckss
8.its so fake an unreal in dis generation
9. u tend to giv sooo much finally don get anythin
10.ur studies goes down ta drain in ta process
11.u start bein ta impresser rather than bein urself!
12. u lose ur identity eventually...
13.u jump to moves.......witout even knwin tat guy/gal
14. u becum used lik hell
15.its never true from ta heart.....
16.cos ta first time we feel we r in luv it always tends to b wit ta WRONG person..
17. u live for ta other rather than urself........he/she may not even realise tat till ta end...
18. u sacrifice for too much an stand b4 him finally to hear ta words " sweetheart lets break up i luv sumone else now...sorry.....r lets jus b friends from now"
19.tears sadness despair becum ur friends aftr a while
20. at the end of ta fairy tale u walk ALONE........unlike ta usual "AND THEY LIVED happily EVER AFTR"..................


but here r also.....a list of
10 THINGS I LIKE ABOUT LOVE

1. its a surreal feeling
2.its gud as long it lasts
3.u feel so close to sumone....as if dey r a part of u//
4.each moment wit tat special him r her makes u feel soooooo nice
5.u get to hav great dreams.........
6. u get to hav castles in air kinda discussions those xtreme ones u ucldnt hav imagined gettin wit anybody else
7.u tend to tak things in ta positive side till ta very end
8.u fact tat u wont even realise u truly luv sumone....until u miss them...
9. to cum to an xtent of termin tat guy r gal THE ONE born for u...........
10. its a feel gud factor,,, u tend to feel so nice an happy bout urself wen u get to knw sumone admires u........



So ppl out der....ta those u havent fallen in luv as yet all i can say tat it a complicated thing...its like a SWEET POISON.........but being is luv is definitely ta most greatest feeling on earth.....jus tat don xpect much...jus live ta moment an b happy u lived through tat..........cos nothing an noone is permanent in life.........keep telling urself tat.........der was noone to advice me such stuff b4 i fell in luv an later wen everythin was over i jus culdnt tak it........tat terible trauma phase i went through.....now well i feel im in luv again but THIS time frm day one i kept telling my mind its k even if it doesnt last aftrall nothin is permament...not even me........Now i knw even dis is gonna end it may really pain but i guess i hav grown up to understand hw it works..........i guess i will face it wit GRIT AN CONFIDENCE dis time............

my NeW MaKeOvEr LiFe..

pink blossoms,bright days,
colourful hues everywer,
des tiny drops of rain
r fillin me wid joy...
im passin dis unknwn land
filled wid ta most beautiful things...
feels lik happy days ahead..
sorrow,hatred,an tears r gonna b unheard of..from nw
r atleast it seems so....
dis gr8 sudden energy inside mee
wat ta hell is it i cant fathom..
is this wat is luv?
am i really in luv?
as im questioning dis 2 myself,
its lik as if
im runnin across dis serene green field
in happiness
sumthin unexplainable
unexpresable...