me an my stupid mind games!

A human mind can really confuse the hell outta you. lifes tough times happen wen you try controlling your mind. i feel a simple issue gets so complicated only wen u try seriously enforcing it...ur mind is an instrument to be used with careful thinking..... when you wish to hate some body forever in ur life... tats wen ur mind will kill you with guilt an make you feel ta love for tat person. when you feel you love someone sooo much your mind will remind you of the insecurities... r of ur sickening past. when you swear to forget something you end forcefully thinking abt it all the time...when you crave for lovee anger creeps in by mistake,when you plan for a serene weekend it will end up like a disaster! when you expect something its sure neever to happen...! its either mind playing games with people r god playing around knotting the aready knotted life...!!
and comming to an emotion called LOVE... nothing can be as difficult as making it last... ur mind creates a lot of expectations on its own jus to let you down someday.... when you feel like hugging ur loved one mood swings will end up ruining the whole plans for the day....when your all totally angry a sudden hug suddennly makes you forget all those sordid times,endless crying nights an make you fall towards your loved one.... why should always things turn upside down? why cant certain answers be so upclose an clearly told by god....?why does he make us fall down so much an finally wen we have no strength to get up he sends mr handsome with his hands stretched for your hands...? life is like tat ironic song wer she sings " its like meeeting the man of your dreams an you see his beautiful wife"!!
why should my boyfriend love thin abs in gals r slender legs wen i dont have neither? why should a guy who dosent hav a hot spiked hair be my boyfriend?
why should every single expectation be given to us in a mixed up complex manner?
why is tat my mindset on a certain issue can never be same as that of my guy? why cant each mind accept an change for the other in some issues? is this wat is mind is made of?
phew stupid mind of mine!! a guy i hate suddely seemed cute today.... y shuld he feel cute to me? wats this ?is this an insecurity to myself? r my worst fears jus upturned an come true always?wat must i do? y do mind play games wit me like this? YES I HATE HIM... I DO I DO I DO...[fuck he still luked cute today!]