He DiN eVeN sAy GUdbYe...........

dis is ta lyrics of a sng tats made me even cry sumdays aftr listenin to it..... its track by NANCY SINATRA called "bang bang"

i was 5 an he was 6,
we rode on horses made of sticks,
he wore black and i wore white
he would always win the fight......BANG BANG

he shot me down bang bang...
i hit the ground bang bang...
tat aweful sound bang bang......
My Baby Shot Me Down>>>.

Seasons came and changed the times,
When i grew up i called Him Mine........;
He would Always laugh an say
remember when we used to play "Bang Bang"
i shot u down bang bang;
you hit the ground bang bang,
that aweful sound bang bang,
I UsED TO sHooT u DoWn........

Music played and people sang.,
Jus for me the church bells rang........

NOW hes GONE i dunno why;
Until this day sumtimes i CRY......
He dint Even say GUDbyE....
Dint tak the Time TO liE...........bang bang

He shot me down bang bang;
i hit the ground bang bang..
tat aweful sound bang bang......
My Baby Shot Me Down>>>.

it may not b seemingly emotional to read......but ta way ta singer sings it made ta biggest impact on me.......

a page frm my diary

wat does one do when all their dreams are shattered?
mayb im hopeless,wat ta hell..whats wrng
wit me? y me alone??
DREAmS>> well guess one musnt hav any...
its a whole waste of time tat only makes u feel
hurt an emotional if u don reach tat target...
mayb i get 2 exicted wit stuff around me
but then don all of us get xcited for certain things?
then y must i face this punishment?
wish i had a blade out here..mayb selfharming
is the cure for my current sadness...
noone an nothing is permanent in life...
they r here 2day an gone 2mrw
y must things bdis way? i hate it........
hw can one just go on wit life livin jus ta moment?
think abt hw ta future wil b without those ppl
who enlighten u 2day.......an im dam sure
it wil hurt,as if lik ta prick frm a pin.....
y do we giv our hearts and minds to people then?
when u arent even remotely sure of
tuggin wit them for a lifetime.?
why? why? why?
shit!i hate cryin an now im becum prone to cryin
cryin to vent out ta sadness deep inside......
what do i lack god? y do ppl do this to me?

LUv ur PaREnTs...........>>>>

ii sit here an realise der is so much more n life than frnds,fcukin orkut,endless hours of music listenin an beein glued an my cell........im upset...really upset..i never wanted a day lik dis to cum...i realise i hav forgotten my family sudenly....
shit hw culd i act lik dis? im been lik an alien in dis place.......in my own world...mayb my parents really don hav ta time for me...but im sure dey wil luv to listen to me each day if i push off sum quality time jus wit them.....sumtimes i guess we musnt assume stuff...i really thought my parents arent bothered abt me tat much an stuff coz dey don spend time wid me...i thought no one really cares abt me here....but then i was so very wrng an i realise it today.....though dey don show hw much dey really luv me...i knw deep inside im always der angel born to them sum 18 odd years back...an i wil always b der lilttle daughter.....so guys i wannted to tell u al to knw r realise der is more to life than jus frnds.......we tend to giv our life to other things in life an forget our parents in ta bargain...i guess this is so bloddy wrng in our part....for al da care they show us we shout bak at them.......if u think an c hw manytimes hav u really blasted out to ur mum wen shes lovingly callin u as best bud is in ta phone.....u wil understand ur mistake....ta bestbud can always wait.........so devote sumtime wid them...tats it 4 nw i gues....

Art >>>>>>>> iT kEEpS mE aLiVE......

tada.........im back wit a bang.... its my kinda last day for ta so called hols nw......jus wanted to let ppl around knw hw much art means to me.........i live by art...its become inevitable in my life now...my role model being my aunt...shes an enigma i can say wit oozin enthusiasm ....my art guru my inspiration...its was lik a great moment wen i finnaly got to meet her after sum 2 bloody years of no contact.......she keeps amusin me so much tat i wish sum day i hold an art botique in her name wid her guidance sumday.........ART... ta word itself seems lik a stress buster to me.. i go to a different world wen im workin on sum art wrk...my first luv i can call it.... ta current facination 4 me is ta beauty of OrNaMeNtAL oRiGaMi... origami by itself is so amazin a thing..cum on hw culd a piece of paper turn into a beauty? my aunt lead me into ta world of ornamental origami an im still yet unable to cum frm ta reverie of it....this is ta more complicated version of a normal origami but used mainly lik for ornamental purposes lik wal hangers an stuff.....its so endless....wit a simple project one can cum up wit amazin versions of ornamental paper jewels dependin on ta type an color combos one takes......guess aftr CalliGrApHy dis is gonna b SeRIously taken up by me..................
ART by itself has many forms an each one gives me a high......i dunno if u people out der evr got to see ta show "MIAMI INK" in discovery travel an livin...o my god...its abt ta daily adventures in a tattoo shop an ,ta designs those guys cum up wit r so very mindblowin.......wish i gota hand an flare lik those guys out der.....those ppl r way too talented i can ssay.......
i hav always been i awe wit art.........hope i always continue to b.......

catch22 positions r killin me........

its boarin out here.......dunno im suddenly so very confused confused to ta core......dunno wat must i do,wat i musnt b doin...shit man dis life is FU**in......though sumtimes its really nice sumtimes des catch 22 positions kill me.......jus nw i hav cum bak frm a feeling tat i acted lika cheap third grade pros wit my best bud...[okie well guys nw don start imaginin sick things! im a goody goddy gal..]]dunno wat must i do.. do knw wat life expects outta me...i feel lost......loads a thoughts in me dunno who to confide on... y cant jus life b a way lot simpler...wer answers to ta questions we ask r seeked through sum wer... by god....guess only wen humans r free frm desires wil dey ever b happy..an i had 2many an tats wer ta prob started.....

y hadnt i joined NID? should i try it again? hw wil life b der if so i get selected? even if its ma dream to b der wat if ta ppl around r gr8 [sarcatic]....r mayb i should hav tried to do CAtterin r hOTel management....i don knw if i likin wat im doin nw....not even a 1% of talent r art talent is needed as yet in my kinda course...its endlessly buggin...mayb i shuld hav joined wit my bestbuds 4 b arch.....seems lik everyone is goin on top of ta ladder an i still stand der down seein an questionin if i wil ever b able to climb to...wish my bro is here with me,,,hes 2 far away to give me support 4 al my ddilemas in life...its so lonely at home here my parents r too busy for me...jus a hi an a bye an hw didya do ur exams wats t a next exam an hw long r ur hols r ta only converstion between me an my parents...i knw dey r doin der best for me...but then i dunno life is so buggin ,fu***in,confusin an ironic................

truly,madly,deeply

lifes goin on pretty well.........out here....each day seems lik sumthin im lukin upto an tats really gr8 rather better frm hw i was...hw broke....sumtimes certain things seems so complicated in life though...do i still luv him? sumtimes i hate him hate jus cant b ta wrd...but durin ta others i feel its totally impossible to forget ta one u once luved truly,madly,deeply....was wonderin hw my horizons r gonna open up later........its so complicated as long i was wit him he was one i imagined to b ta 1 ta 1 who i wil b wit no mater wat...ta tragedy here is dat wen he used to put me in tat position i used to keep tellin him a milion times wen u don even knw wats gona hapen by ta end of ta day hw culd u envisage a moment 10yrs later,,,...then distance got ta better of me an i started imaginin stuff..dreams can sumtimes b so very satisfyin an i was livin in such a world until a day came .....a day i always expected but always hoped it never cam to me... a day wer a new character cam to picture....cumon hw long can a poor bloke dream of ta same old gal?? so well he decided he needs a make over.......an ta gal is stil attimes stuck in tat reverie but then who wants to knw wat hapened to ta gal?.........i wanna prove tat idiot r make him feel tat worst for havin lost her.........an image makeover culd do ta trick lik wat he did.......an tat soon wil happen.........

apart frm this whole past mess...lifes k...guess its gettin better each day bcoz of my frnds......an i hav gotten to bcuma realshp advicer can u believe it? an a lotta ma frnds entrust me 4 der problems....relationshps r so complex...rather ironic too......its lik u get along wit sum1 u knw it wont last but stil go through it,,,,,fall in ta luv pit in da process........then ttats wen its been time u havent cried a while r had sad times so by sum kinda illusion t a realshp breaks an der u get a chance to weep....for sum dis weeepin stretch lasts for jus max 2 weeks next and ta next 1 springs by.....for ta very truthful luvers tat pain may last 4 years.......guess its better off not
luvin....an easier simpler life....